Merry Christmas Patrick Jane
by janesbiotch
Summary: Patrick Jane has just tried to make his first Christmas with Lisbon the best she has ever had. As always for him things didn't go so well and now he is fighting for his life and trapped in a world sort of familliar and then not so much. Will he make it back in time for his perfect Christmas with Lisbon? Well read and find out. Fun for Christmas. I PROMISE TO FINISH THIS.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: ** I looked online, and I looked online and I can't believe that no one has done something like this so here I am doing it. I wanted to go for humor and yet be serious at the same time. So here we go just in time for Christmas. It needs to go in the crossover section, but I'm not doing that yet because well no one would ever read it, and I want people to see it. When I'm finished posting it, I will put it where it belongs. They are two worlds in this story. Everything in dreamland will be in_ italics_. Reviews are nice and be honest just not mean. This is edited by me, so all mistakes are mine. Happy Holidays everyone. Once this one is done it's back to my other stories.

Chapter 1: Caught in the Rain

It was their first Christmas together, and he was trying to make things the best for her. She was away on a case and he wanted the house to look beautiful for when she came back. If she was in DC with Pike their might be snow. She wanted to make this special for her, so when she came back there would be lights.

Teresa Lisbon was tired, but she was glad that she was about to be home and be with Patrick. This was their first Christmas together, and she couldn't wait to celebrate with him. They were going to "come out" as they say in about three days at the Christmas Party, and she couldn't wait. The sneaking around was good, but she couldn't wait to be able to walk into the office together holding hands, or sneaking moments like she saw Abbott doing with his wife a few days ago.

She didn't even mind the rain when she pulled up and saw the house blanketed in lights. He must've been working all day to do this. This was what she loved about this man; he always surprised her. She didn't even care that it was raining.

She jumped from the car and smiled as she stuck out her tongue to taste some of the rain on her tongue. It made her think of the day that she and Jane had run to the car hand in hand to get out of the rain. She was going to thank him totally for this. She knew just the little something that she was going to wear to thank him. A little green number that he told her brought out the color of her eyes. She was just about to unlock the door when she saw that Jane hadn't put away the ladder.

"I'm going to kill him." She mumbled to herself.

She ran around to run and put the ladder in the garage, and that's when she saw it. He was lying face down in the rain. He was back up against the back of the house so no one could have seen him. How long had he been lying there?

"Jane can you hear me?" she asked as she touched him looking for a pulse.

She hadn't realized that she had been holding her breath until she found his pulse and finally took one. He groaned and tried to get up but immediately fell back down.

"It's okay sweetheart. I'm here; I'm going to get us some help." She told him as she took out her phone to dial 911.

Kimball Cho was not a happy camper. He was in the middle of getting everything set up in his home for the arrival of his mom tomorrow. She loved Christmas, and she was coming to him this year for the first time since he had added an addition to his home. She was going to have her on a little area complete with a tree. This was the year that he would wow her and maybe just maybe she would take him up on his offer of moving in with him. Now he was rushing to the hospital because something had happened to Jane. Lisbon was hysterical on the phone that was not normal for her. When he walked in and saw her, he knew immediately something was very wrong.

"Lisbon, what happened?" he asked as he approached her.

"I had just got home from work….you know Wylie and I were…the house was covered in lights. It was beautiful just like I told him I wanted…..he was on the ground. I was scared; they say his leg is broken. That's not the worst part though, and he hit his head. They rushed him to surgery. Oh god Cho, I don't know what I'll do if I lose him." She cried.

Cho stood there dumbfounded. He could barely make out what she was saying. She was hysterical. He knew now he shouldn't have come alone. It was going to be a long night. He gently sat her down in a chair in the waiting room, and he took the one right next to her. He took her hand and gave it a nice squeeze. They would sit there until they found out what Jane had gotten himself into. He glanced up at the TV and couldn't help but smile. One of his favorite things about Christmas was about to start. Maybe watching it would make this waiting game go by a little faster.

**End Notes: Okay there's chapter 1. The next chapter the crossover begins. So before you read that one why don't you let me know what do you think the crossover is? I give you a hint it's a Christmas classic, and no it's not THAT ONE. Happy guessing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: **Okay so here's the next chapter. When this chapter is over you will know the crossover. First off this story is meant to be funny but also serious, so when you think of the crossover don't think of it as you normally see them because if you do it will be ridiculous. LOL truth be told as of right now I can only think of them as they normally are so you know my brain must be crazy. Okay I got to get back to the story because it's funny just thinking about it. Remember there's a dream world so everything happening in the dream world will be in _italics_.

Chapter 2: There's Been a Murder

"Lisbon." He groaned.

Teresa Lisbon couldn't help but smile when she heard that groan of a word. Of course she could tell that he was in a lot of pain, and he was still semi unconscious when he said it, but the point was he had said it. It had been a long night but Patrick Jane was alive and things were looking up.

"How's he doing doctor?" she asked.

"Patrick is very lucky. We don't know for sure how long he stayed out there in the rain which is too bad. The head injury wasn't as severe as we thought. Once we got inside and could really see, he is indeed very lucky." He told her as he made notes in the chart.

"I love that you are being optimistic, but I can't help but feel that there's a silent but in there."

"Mr. Jane has a severe concussion. When he wakes up he will probably be dizzy and a little disoriented. Then there's the broken leg, it's a clean break but it's going to hurt and with the concussion he's not going to be a happy camper, but that's not my deepest concern right now."

"What is?" she asked as she went to wipe his brow. She was taken back when she realized just how hot he was.

"I see that you've already answered your question. He's got a very bad case of pneumonia. The exposure of being out there in the air has done a real number on his lungs. It's bilateral, which means that it's in both lungs, but he's doing pretty good. His breathing is pretty clean so right now we don't have a need to intubate him."

"Intubate!" she shouted in horror.

"Yes ma'am. If his temperature were to get a little higher and we find that he's in distress it might be best to put a breathing tube in."

"Oh Jane." She soothed him taking his clammy hand in hers.

"I know that I was supposed to leave last night. It is against all rules on the planet for me to be here. I don't know if you know about Patrick's background, but he doesn't have any family and I don't know what my friend Kimball said to the staff last night but I was allowed to stay with him. I don't think it's written down anywhere but he's….I mean he's…"

"No need to explain anything Ms. Lisbon. I heard about your friend the fellow agent last night threaten some staff members when they wanted you to leave the recovery area. There was no need of that, we read Mr. Jane's chart and he has named you his medical proxy. As of now you are the only one who can see him. You can stay as long you want." He told her cutting off a rant he was sure was about to be very long, demanding, and maybe a little threatening.

"Oh." She replied as she took her perch back beside the man she loved.

"He's resting comfortably, and he probably will be doing that for a while. The best thing I can say for you to do for yourself is to go and get some food and get some sleep I know that you're not going to go with my suggestion, so talk to him. Let him know that you're here. I'll be back later to check in on him."

Lisbon watched the doctor leave and then her focus went back to her boyfriend lying there. Her boyfriend. Patrick Jane was her boyfriend and no one knew. She knew that they all had their speculations, but no one would say anything if it wasn't confirmed by either one of them. She had been so selfish. Why didn't she let him? She sighed looking up at the TV. She couldn't help but laugh, that same Christmas classic from last night was on again. She so was looking forward to watching it with Jane. She couldn't believe it was his favorite, and he was missing it.

"Come on Jane wake up. It's just starting, we can watch it together. Can you hear me? Jane! Jane!"

***MC***

_"Jane!" Lisbon shouted._

_A confused Patrick Jane opened his eyes to find that he was in the backseat of an SUV. He blinked sleepily and was more than surprised when his eyes began to focus and he found a very concerned Grace looking at him closely._

_"Grace?" he said confused._

_"We're here. You better get out, the boss is in a mood." She smiled at him as she excited the car._

_He didn't quite understand what was going on exactly. The last thing he remembered was being up on the roof putting up the lights for Teresa. Now he was in a SUV, and back with the CBI. What was up with the time warp?_

_He looked up and noticed that they were at a Christmas Village of some kind. At least it was still Christmas time. That fall must have been a lot harder than he thought._

_"Grace since this is near where you grew up why don't you take point on this?" Lisbon told the young detective._

_"Really boss?" _

_"Yea why don't you tell us what we have?" she asked as she bent down to examine the body closely._

_"We have the body of one Charles Andrew Brown. He owns this little village, but he's also the town vet. He was found earlier by one of the employees when they came to help open up shop. As you can see by the wounds, it looks like he's been attacked with what looks an axe. Sheriff Patricia Peppermint and her Deputy Marcie Doyle were the first responders." Van Pelt explained as she gestured towards the people in question._

_Patrick Jane hadn't really been listening because he couldn't seem to shake this tightness that had appeared out of nowhere, but the name of the victim sounded vaguely familiar. He looked down to see a man in his early thirties, he was beginning to go bald in the top of his head but he was determined to hold on to the little bit that he had left. There was nothing very special about him. He could tell that he didn't live alone, and he was starting a new relationship and wait a minute!_

_Charles Brown, this guy's name was Charles Brown. He began to look around and notice how well together everything was in this town. It was all too perfect. Sheriff Patricia Peppermint? As in Peppermint Patty and her sidekick Marcie!_

_"Are you guys for real?" he asked trying not to snicker._

_"Jane." Lisbon scolded._

_"Sheriff Peppermint is there anyone that jumps at you who would want to hurt Charles?" Lisbon asked taking over the investigation briefly._

_"Hurt Chuck? I mean Charles was a great guy, I've known him since forever. He wasn't the most popular guy but he was good you know. Sort of your everyman. Is that the word? It was like he could have the whole world against him at times, but he was a great guy to everyone." She sighed._

_"Aww sir, these CBI guys are going to help us figure things out. That's why you had me call Grace. She is here and they'll going to get to the bottom of this." Her deputy added._

_"Sorry folks I normally don't get so emotional it's just Chuck, I mean Charles was one of the good ones."_

_"It's quite alright." Lisbon sympathized._

_Lisbon couldn't help but feel some sadness for the Sheriff. This looked like a pretty quiet town. Grace said that her family had lived here for quite some time, and nothing like this had ever happened before. She even sort of knew the victim. More of a reason why they shouldn't take this case, but also why she could understand why she wanted to take it. She was about to ask Jane what he was getting from all of this, but that moment passed when the laughter began._

_He had tried. Oh how he had tried, but how were they being so serious. Here lied the body of Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty and Marcie were play cops and robbers. Oh man he couldn't hold it in._

_"Jane! I can't believe you are being so disrespectful. You need to get a hold of yourself." She scolded._

_"Lisbon what is going on? Is this some kind of Christmas joke or something? It's Peanuts. I know you thought it was weird that I was a grown man and I still loved a Charlie Brown Christmas, but we're standing in a Charlie Brown Christmas!" he laughed again. He laughed more than he had in a while even though there was this tightness remaining in his chest._

_"Listen here Jane. I don't have any idea what you're talking about. I suggest that you go back to the car and get yourself together, and only then when you have something useful do you come back to the group."_

_Jane watched closely as Lisbon walked off. He didn't understand what was going on? He was the one that hit his head, so why did everyone else have brain damage? Lisbon didn't even acknowledge that they were together? He didn't like it here. He didn't like it at all. _

_He quickly made it back to the SUV and climbed in the back to lie down. All of a sudden he felt very tired. He wanted to go home._

_"Good grief." He sighed as he closed his eyes._

**End Notes: Okay so there you have it. The Mentalist meets A Charlie Brown Christmas. This story is not really meant to be taken seriously but I'm going to make it be a full case and put in everyone from the story. Let me know what you think, and who do you think killed Charlie Brown? Lol ok is this stupid? Also is there something wrong with the fact that I couldn't stop laughing as I wrote this? Back to the real world in the next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: That's right I have made a Charlie Brown/Mentalist crossover. I never thought that I would make something like this but I want to do something serious but be fun as well. It's going to be great and I hope that you guys like it. I hope that everyone is having Happy Holidays**

Chapter 3: I Solved It!

Lisbon looked up at the TV and quickly switched the channel when A Charlie Brown Christmas was airing yet again.

"God, I swear if I see that movie one more time I going to lose my freaking mind!" she shouted.

"What did the doctor say?" Grace Van Pelt asked.

"They don't understand why he's not awake. His fever spiked some last night, and he became distressed. They were going to put the tube in, but I talked them out of it. He's not breathing too badly on his own right now and I just…..I don't want him to wake up with that tube down his throat."

"It's going to be okay. This can't be good for you. Why won't you just get out of the hospital? He wouldn't want you to spend Christmas here. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and you invited Wayne and me. It's weird staying in your house without you there."

"It won't be Christmas if Jane is not there!" she blurted out.

Grace was taken away by that. It was so weird seeing Lisbon like this. Not Lisbon Teresa. Teresa her friend. She was in love with Jane her friend. They were together and it was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. The thing was she didn't see it. Lisbon was here losing it, and Jane, well Jane was there lying in that bed.

"Come on if you won't leave, come down to the cafeteria and have a coffee. That way if something happens he's only an elevator ride away from him."

She looked back at the sleeping form, he would be okay while she got a cup with an old friend.

"I'll be right back." She kissed him on the forehead and exited his room with her friend.

*CB*

_Patrick Jane woke up from his nap in the car feeling way worse than he did before he went to sleep. He was also very sad to find out that he was still in bizarre world where the characters of the peanuts gang was running around living normal lives. Someone had killed Charlie Brown and it was up to him to find out who it was. Since he was stuck here, he might as well play along._

_"I know who the killer is!" he shouted as walked in the bullpen with doughnuts._

_He couldn't help but smile when Rigsby was the first to grab a doughnut. It was just like old times and well at that moment he would admit that he missed the big guy._

_"Oh are you actually working this case? I thought you were catching up on your beauty sleep." Lisbon quipped._

_"It was Lucy!" Jane shouted._

_"What?" Van Pelt asked stunned._

_"It was Lucy, it's always Lucy. She hates Charlie Brown. Always calling him a blockhead, and moving that stupid football whenever he's trying to kick it. Claims she's an awesome baseball player, but everyone knows that she's the worst. Let's get her blue dress, white shoe wearing behind in here and maybe I can find my way home!" he shouted ecstatically._

_Everyone in the bullpen was trying to take in exactly what it was that Jane was saying but there was one person that was furious about it all._

_"Lucy. Jane did you just come out of your two day coma and accuse my sister of being a murderer!" Grace demanded._

_"Oh right, Grace Van Pelt. How come I never noticed that?" he sighed._

**End Notes: This chapter is horrible. It was going one place and then I totally dropped the ball. I hope you all had a great holiday. Will be adding a better chapter tomorrow probably.**


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